Just sitting here reflecting on my life this time last year. Spiritually, I was well on my way, but emotionally, my heart was still stuck in the past. God has blessed me so much in these past 5 yrs and has straight up changed me. He reawakened my soul and put that hunger back in my heart that before was just dead inside. This hunger guided me in the arms of a wonderful church family and put me in the path of some amazing people.
I hadn't been in church for over a year when I found Journey because of past hurts and before that it was hit and miss as my family never really found a church home once we moved to MO (from TX) when I was 8yrs old.
God put me there for a reason though as a few months later, I lost my job of almost 6 yrs. I got caught up in old emotions over someone who was no good for me and turned to alcohol and partying because it was better to be out with him and our friends than at home watching my finances crumble due to unemployment. I did the church walk every Sunday, but continued the party life 2-4 nights a week. The person I was becoming, was not who I was nor wanted to be but I couldn't stop.
I am not sure why I continued going to church, considering, but I did. Then one day someone ask me to serve in the Info Center and I totally surprised myself when I heard the words "yes" come out of my mouth. When I began serving, I was introduced to a wonderful lady named Beth, who had been going through some struggles in life herself. Unlike me though, she was very strong in her faith and was always so positive about everything despite what was going on. Something I admired very much and wanted for myself. Eventually, I began to make even more friends and started attending the women's events and even started serving as a leader in the youth ministry. I still would go out with friends but eventually, I was so busy with church activities that I didn't have time for the bars anymore nor had the desire to be around it. Some friends didn't get it and disappeared, some followed suit to see what it was all about and some thought I fell off my rocker and continued to love me anyways.
In the past 5 years I have been through the ringer. But God makes NO mistakes. Because of my church, the peace God has put in my heart, and the people He has placed around me...I have overcome every obstacle I've been confronted with. My ideas about life, relationships etc has changed. I often hear myself talking or better yet, read the stuff I have written and I'm like...."Who Are You?!" LOL Because the woman I see now is nowhere near who I used to be and the things that I have in my life now I can't imagine my life without.
My heart is no longer stuck in my past. It is on fire and focused on my future!! I am so excited to see what God has planned!! Slowly but surely His plan is being revealed! I still serve alongside Beth in the Info Center, I returned to working with the youth ministry again and I now serve in media which I LOVE because I'm kind've a nerd when it comes to music and technology! 8-)
My prayer life has grown and God has continuously rocked my world with all the many blessings He has given me: Forgiveness...Grace...Love....Hope...a 2nd chance. He can give you all of this too, You just have to ask Him!!
I am a living testimony that "He makes ALL things New!!" That is an understatement. I am so overwhelmed by His love and I cannot wait to see what's in store!
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Sunday, November 30, 2014
The Wait
Did you ever have a dream in your heart that wasn't yet fulfilled? Maybe the timing wasn't right or you just weren't spiritually where you needed to be?
Whatever the case may be, "He who begins a good work in you is faithful to complete it." [Philippians 1:6] That doesn't mean that what you desire matches up to His plan, but God has your best interest at heart and His plan is always better! All we have to do is put our trust in Him. Sometimes that's easier said than done, especially when it doesn't seem possible or in the past things have failed...but remember, because of God, ALL things are possible.[Luke 1:37] We just have to be patient and open to the things He has for us.
Patience is a whole 'nother ballgame. Especially when you have been waiting for a long time. You keep hearing from others that it will happen in His time and how special that person will be if you just wait. I've learned waiting for your spouse is a lot like waiting for pot of water to start boiling. It is better to occupy your time doing other things while you're waiting for the water to boil/God to bring that person into your life.
Who knows, maybe he/she is already in your life? But just because you think you're ready, doesn't mean God does or maybe it's that other person that isn't quite ready. My point, God's timing is perfect. We have to trust that all that stuff will come when the time is right.
It's hard, especially during this time of year. Trust me, I know...the holiday season is rough.
People will include you in on their holiday festivities sometimes, and although, that's nice, it just isn't the same. And then there are other nights when you just wish you had an invitation anywhere in lieu of being alone. The holidays are a time for families, and when you're single, that can get you down. But don't let it. I've been reading this book (God Loves The Single, Too) and there was something that I read the other day that I never thought about.
"Did you ever stop to think why Jesus lived a single life? He was human as well as divine; He could have had a wife and children the same as any man. It would have seemed very natural for God, who created the home, to let Jesus establish a model home, be the model husband and father to show the world how to run a perfect home. The answer, of course, is obviously that Jesus had a goal in life, a job to accomplish which could best be done without the responsibilities of a wife and children. His life on earth was brief, and His duties were eternal in scope. He put His all into His life and because He did, you and I can accept Him as the Savior and Lord of our life, and He will give us eternal glory. Surely there were times in His life, as when He was in the garden praying to God to "let this cup pass, if it is Your will," that Jesus would have changed some state of His life on earth. But I'm also sure He never let His mind dwell on such thoughts because He knew it woudn't serve any good purpose. Jesus merely accepted the fact that God could use Him best unmarried. There was no anger or resentment in Jesus' prayer to have his death pass from him---only commitment and complete trust that whatever God chose for Him, He would make a blessing out of it, for Him, and for those around Him."
Reading that passage made me realize that I am not alone. Jesus knows the desires of my heart and knows what it's like to be lonely too. But despite all those things, He waited and trusted God's timing.
I'm not saying you'll never get married, only God knows that. What I AM saying is...that maybe you're single/single again, because, just maybe, He has something magnificent planned that you couldn't do if you weren't where you are right now? If so, why not trust Him for that?
During this season of our lives, hold tight to your dreams but delight yourself in Him. [Psalm 37:4] Be content exactly where you are at...Completely trust you're where God wants you to be...Occupy your time doing other things such as serving/being a light to others while waiting for His perfect timing to be revealed...And also, be thankful and accept those holiday invitations!! :o)
Be Blessed,
-Crystal
Whatever the case may be, "He who begins a good work in you is faithful to complete it." [Philippians 1:6] That doesn't mean that what you desire matches up to His plan, but God has your best interest at heart and His plan is always better! All we have to do is put our trust in Him. Sometimes that's easier said than done, especially when it doesn't seem possible or in the past things have failed...but remember, because of God, ALL things are possible.[Luke 1:37] We just have to be patient and open to the things He has for us.
Patience is a whole 'nother ballgame. Especially when you have been waiting for a long time. You keep hearing from others that it will happen in His time and how special that person will be if you just wait. I've learned waiting for your spouse is a lot like waiting for pot of water to start boiling. It is better to occupy your time doing other things while you're waiting for the water to boil/God to bring that person into your life.
Who knows, maybe he/she is already in your life? But just because you think you're ready, doesn't mean God does or maybe it's that other person that isn't quite ready. My point, God's timing is perfect. We have to trust that all that stuff will come when the time is right.
It's hard, especially during this time of year. Trust me, I know...the holiday season is rough.
People will include you in on their holiday festivities sometimes, and although, that's nice, it just isn't the same. And then there are other nights when you just wish you had an invitation anywhere in lieu of being alone. The holidays are a time for families, and when you're single, that can get you down. But don't let it. I've been reading this book (God Loves The Single, Too) and there was something that I read the other day that I never thought about.
"Did you ever stop to think why Jesus lived a single life? He was human as well as divine; He could have had a wife and children the same as any man. It would have seemed very natural for God, who created the home, to let Jesus establish a model home, be the model husband and father to show the world how to run a perfect home. The answer, of course, is obviously that Jesus had a goal in life, a job to accomplish which could best be done without the responsibilities of a wife and children. His life on earth was brief, and His duties were eternal in scope. He put His all into His life and because He did, you and I can accept Him as the Savior and Lord of our life, and He will give us eternal glory. Surely there were times in His life, as when He was in the garden praying to God to "let this cup pass, if it is Your will," that Jesus would have changed some state of His life on earth. But I'm also sure He never let His mind dwell on such thoughts because He knew it woudn't serve any good purpose. Jesus merely accepted the fact that God could use Him best unmarried. There was no anger or resentment in Jesus' prayer to have his death pass from him---only commitment and complete trust that whatever God chose for Him, He would make a blessing out of it, for Him, and for those around Him."
Reading that passage made me realize that I am not alone. Jesus knows the desires of my heart and knows what it's like to be lonely too. But despite all those things, He waited and trusted God's timing.
I'm not saying you'll never get married, only God knows that. What I AM saying is...that maybe you're single/single again, because, just maybe, He has something magnificent planned that you couldn't do if you weren't where you are right now? If so, why not trust Him for that?
During this season of our lives, hold tight to your dreams but delight yourself in Him. [Psalm 37:4] Be content exactly where you are at...Completely trust you're where God wants you to be...Occupy your time doing other things such as serving/being a light to others while waiting for His perfect timing to be revealed...And also, be thankful and accept those holiday invitations!! :o)
Be Blessed,
-Crystal
Friday, July 25, 2014
MEMA
7/25/2013 I lost the most influential woman in my life, My Mema, Mary Elizabeth Kayser. It seems like only yesterday we were all gathered in her bedroom and witnessed the smile on her face as she opened her eyes one last time and took her last breath on earth. I will never forget that moment or the impact she made on us all. For those friends/family who were not able to be there, here are the words I spoke at her service:
Mother, Mom, Momma, Grandma, Aunt Mary, Maw-Mer
and most famous, "Mema"...Today, we celebrate YOU!
I've thought about this day for awhile now, even though I told myself this day would never come. Now that it's here, I can't imagine my life without you in it. The next few days, weeks, months...even years will be hard on all of us. Everyone will have memories to look back on, some stories passed down through the generations, some still fresh on our minds that will make us laugh...smile and yes, even cry. These are just a few of mine.
Traveling from Texas to Missouri and back again as a little girl sitting on your lap the whole way. Mom would tell me to get off and let you rest and you'd say "Jewel, leave that baby alone, she's not hurting anything." Spending the night with you and how you'd wash my face up before bed. I wash my face now and think back to those memories and just smile.
Mema, for 36 years you have been a constant in my life. I have always shared a special bond with you so it's only fitting we became roommates many years later. I will never forget all the times you sat up talking to me and helping me through whatever obstacle I was going through or just talking to me about the good ole days...rolling each other's hair and cooking meals together.
That's something I think all of us will remember...You ALWAYS had time for your family. Whether it was day or night, your door and phone line was always open. Your heart was so big and you didn't care how much we messed up. You loved and accepted us. You were the true definition of unconditional love.
I appreciate all those times you let me in after midnight because you didn't want to leave the screen unlocked. No matter how many times I got aggravated at you FOR locking it, that's something I really missed when I moved out, was having you always there to let me in and talk to me no matter what.
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be...That song has always reminded me of you and the wisdom you gave me. You have taught me so much about life and I am forever grateful for that. You taught me about God not only in words but you lead by example in your everyday life. The 7 yrs I lived with you plus the countless times I stayed with you over the years there was never a night you didn't pray for all of us, I know this because many of those nights I would lie awake and listen to you. All of us wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that. You taught me to always hold my head up high no matter what people may say or do to me. You said to treat others as God would...as you would want to be treated, regardless of how they treated you.
As I was writing this the memories kept flowing out...I'm sure this will happened for the rest of my life and I will pass these memories onto my own family someday and just smile knowing where they came from.
You've always been the strongest person I know but now I AM and that's all because of you. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life. I love you and can't wait til I see you again...
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Here it goes...
Not sure where I want this blogging thing to take me, but I have tons of thoughts that occupy the space between my ears and I've always enjoyed writing, so here I am. I am notorious for run-on sentences though, so let that be you're warning.
Words, whether they truthful or not seem to have an everlasting affect on us. No matter how many years go by, you still remember. Unfortunately, I've got the memory of an elephant because I remember everything! A blessing for important things, yes, however, sometimes feels like a curse as the negative things are there too.
Today in church, my pastor talked about words and our tongues being the strongest weapon we possess. Because whether we are speaking about ourselves or our friends/family...our words still affect us. They can hurt and destroy or they can build us up and encourage us...
Pastor Jesse also went on to include a story that was shared on our church Facebook page recently...."The Tale of Two Wolves." The story is about an old Cherokee telling his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people....
He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.’ The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’ -Author Unknown
Ezekiel 36:26 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh..."
After hearing that verse today, I made a choice. Despite what's happened to me in my past, I have a choice on how it plays out in my future. You have that same choice, too!
If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, ask Him to come into your life and heal your heart. I am a work in progress, but I am constantly learning, growing and evolving into the woman God has designed me to be. He has a perfect plan for me...He has a plan for you, too! You just have to be open to receiving it!
Until next time...
Be Blessed, Ya'll! :)
Words, whether they truthful or not seem to have an everlasting affect on us. No matter how many years go by, you still remember. Unfortunately, I've got the memory of an elephant because I remember everything! A blessing for important things, yes, however, sometimes feels like a curse as the negative things are there too.
Today in church, my pastor talked about words and our tongues being the strongest weapon we possess. Because whether we are speaking about ourselves or our friends/family...our words still affect us. They can hurt and destroy or they can build us up and encourage us...
Pastor Jesse also went on to include a story that was shared on our church Facebook page recently...."The Tale of Two Wolves." The story is about an old Cherokee telling his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people....
He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.’ The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’ -Author Unknown
Ezekiel 36:26 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh..."
After hearing that verse today, I made a choice. Despite what's happened to me in my past, I have a choice on how it plays out in my future. You have that same choice, too!
If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, ask Him to come into your life and heal your heart. I am a work in progress, but I am constantly learning, growing and evolving into the woman God has designed me to be. He has a perfect plan for me...He has a plan for you, too! You just have to be open to receiving it!
Until next time...
Be Blessed, Ya'll! :)
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